Getting stuck by things that happen to you.

Hey there, void. I actually did do a lot of doing today. But (maybe ironically) the doing was all centered around something happening and what happened today was not good. I'll save the details for the people who need to know them.

Life has been in a vicious cycle of happening for me lately. No real choice or definitive action has had much to do with my story for a while. Although a healthy amount of indecision has crossed out a few pages, which technically is a choice and an action. I will and do hold myself accountable for that.

I don't know, though. Do you ever just feel really stuck by things that happen to you? Like one day one person chose to do something completely fucked and now entire branches you haven't explored yet are obliterated and they get to just...move on. Free of blockades, sometimes free of even knowing how much of your future they erased in a single moment... a single decision...

It's even worse if it's your own body that happens. Who can you even be mad at then? Not that you always should be mad but I think it's human nature to seek justice. We all want a fair game, but not all of us get one. And when it's your body that happens, half the time no one can even understand. Being human in a body that happens is the loneliest experience everyone on this planet endures.

Some parting philosophical thoughts: I do think that when bad things happen to people, they can, in turn, react by causing bad things to happen to other people, too. Life is stupid that way. But there are certain extremely harmful choices and actions that I just can't get behind even considering the happening cycle that led to them. Bad things happen to all people, but not all people become bad people because of them. I think that's important to hold onto.

I don't think I have very much else to say tonight. Until next time, fellow human. Don't let your flesh cage (or the universe's many unfair happenings) grind you down.